Tulip Warning! This chapter talks about pregnancy loss. My name is Tulip Ivy Sterling, and I am 23 years old. My life has been one big trial of ups and downs. And I have to say, there have been more downs than ups. Especially over the last few years. And it has been so hard. Harder than what I had thought that my life would be after I turned eighteen. Before I turned eighteen, I was used to having a hard life. When I was first born, I had a loving family. I had a mom and two dads, and three brothers. And we were all one big happy family, or so I thought. When I was ten, something happened to cause my parents to split up. I never did find out what happened to cause it. All I knew was that the boys and I had to go and have DNA tests done to find out which of us belonged to my dad, Sean. Unfortunately for me, I was the only one that the test showed belonged to him. So, I had to spend every weekend at his house with him. And most of my breaks from school were spent at his house. I hated it. He was always very abusive to me, and it was mentally and emotionally most of the time. When he only had me on the weekends, he would stick to mentally and emotionally abusing me. But when I had to spend a longer amount of time with him, it would get physical. He would beat me and lock me in a closet for hours at a time, sometimes for days. Once I turned eighteen, I stopped having anything to do with him. I wouldn't call him or go and see him. hll, I moved to South Carolina for college just to get far away from him. And it was also to get me away from my family. They knew that something was going on, but I would never tell them what was what because of the threats that he made to me. I couldn't have him hurting my family. So I stayed quiet to protect them. But at the same time, I made sure that I got proof of the abuse that he put me through. I have videos and pictures that show what he was doing to me. I had it all on my phone in one folder that only I could get into. But I also had a backup jump drive that had it all on it as well. And it was tucked away in a safe place. When I moved to SC, I settled into the dorm life at first and worked on getting my degree. At first, all I did was go to class and study. But then I took a weekend off to go explore the town that I was living in. The college that I was in was close to the military base. So while I was out exploring, I happened to run into someone I knew. Shadow was a member of the Reapers Warriors MC. The same club that my family was members of. He also happened to be the guy that I had crushed on for years. He joined the military when he was eighteen, and I had barely seen him since then. So, running into him was a blessing for me. I was using public transportation since freshmen were not allowed to have cars. And I was going around to see the different sights and take pictures. For one of my art classes, the professor wanted us to get out and explore and find something that had meaning to us, and take a picture of it. So as I was walking around, I spotted Shadow and went to say hi. He had the day off and was out riding his bike. When he heard what I was doing and that I was riding the bus to do it, he offered to take me around and show me some places. I was excited because he had never let a woman on the back of his bike before. I remember one time when I was younger, when he took me for a ride. But as far as I knew, no one else had ever been on his bike. That day was the start of our relationship. Whenever he was home from a tour, we would spend time together. When I was allowed to have a car my sophomore year, my brother brought mine out to me. So I had it to drive back and forth with. I would spend most nights with Shadow at his house. Everything had been going great with us. I loved him and loved spending time with him. I knew everything that there was to know about him. Including the fact that he was bi. And it didn't bother me; if anything, it turned me on. Shadow had a short tour that he had to do, which only lasted two months before he came home to get ready for a longer one. The next one was going to last for a year, maybe more. And he wouldn't be able to have any contact with me for that time. I was used to that, so I knew what to expect. While he was gone on the short tour, I thought that I had caught a stomach bug because I kept getting sick. And with school, I didn't think anything else about it. When Shadow came home, we spent what time we could together before he had to leave again. I knew that I was going to miss him like crazy. About a month after he left for his tour, I was on my way to school when I was in a car accident. Some drunk driver hit me head-on, and thankfully, it didn't kill me. But there were other losses in that accident. When I finally came to at the hospital, it was to find out that not only was I pregnant, but they had to deliver the baby, and they weren't sure if he would make it. He was in the NICU in an incubator, and they were doing everything that they could to save him. In the end, because I was only five months pregnant, he wasn't developed enough to make it out of the w'omb. And I held that tiny one-pound baby as he took his last breath. I named him Gabriel Waylon Gibson Sterling. I wanted to name him after Shadow. And since we weren't married, and he wasn't here, I couldn't give him Shadow's last name. So, I added it as a second middle name. It was the best that I could do at the time. The other loss that I had at that time, when I woke up, I was missing both of my legs. The crash had pushed the front of the car up, and it crushed my legs. By the time the fire department was able to get me out, it was too late to save my legs. Pieces of the car had cut into both legs, and they had to put tourniquets on them to save what they could. So now, I'm missing most of my legs. After losing my son and my legs, I wasn't the same person anymore. I had to go through physical therapy, and I had to go see a psychiatrist. It took a toll on my mental state, and at one point, I was ready to kill myself. I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay at Shadow's place because of the stairs. And I needed to be close to the hospital. So, I got a first-floor apartment and moved out of the dorms with help from my friends. They even helped me go to Shadow's place to pack up the stuff that I had there. And that was another blow to the gut. With my mental state already as bad as it was, it was made even worse by going there. While we were packing my stuff up, there was a knock on the door. Since I stayed here when Shadow was gone, and he knew it, I went and answered the door. Of course, I was in a wheelchair, so when I answered, the person on the other side had to look down. I wasn't expecting some girl who was about nine months pregnant to answer the door. But that was who was on the other side. She was looking for Shadow and tried to claim that her kid belonged to him. I knew better because he wasn't even in town when she claimed that she got pregnant. But she still tried to tell me it was his. I kicked her off the property and told her not to come back. Because I knew that he didn't cheat on me and that he wasn't even in town when she said she got pregnant. I also let her know that if she continued to make false claims that he would get a DNA test done and then file charges against her. She left not long after that. After that little visit, I knew that I was going to need time to work on myself. Seeing her pregnant with her baby safe in her stomach was so Dam hard. I know that I didn't know about my baby until it was too late. I'm happy that I got to see him and hold him, but it's still hard as hll now that he is gone. And all I have left of him is a necklace and a little urn of ashes. After we got my stuff that day, I left a note for Shadow telling him about the girl claiming her kid was his. I also told him that something had happened, and I just needed some time. I knew that he would be pissed at me for leaving him. But at the time, I thought that it was the right thing to do. And I knew him, when he found out what happened, he'd want to leave the military to take care of me, and I wasn't going to let that happen. So I left, and I continued on with the physical therapy and with seeing my psychiatrist. And after talking to the dean at my college, I was able to transfer my classes for the first few months online. After that, I went back to class and managed to graduate on time. I didn't have to worry about working because my insurance and lawyer sued the drunk driver, and I won. Of course, he made it through the accident, and he had barely a scratch on him. Turns out that the guy was some trust fund rich kid. And he had been out partying and decided to drive drunk. After what happened, I walked away with a lot of money. More than what the insurance and my lawyer were trying to get me. The guy's parents were devastated when they heard what had happened to me, and the fact that I lost my baby and my legs. He got a lot of jail time for it, and his parents cut him off as well. Turns out, that it wasn't the first accident that he caused. Mine just happened to be the worst. No one in my family knew about what happened. I made excuses every time they wanted to come see me, or they wanted me to come home. I didn't want them to see how broken that I was. And I was broken. For the first few months, none of my friends would leave me alone. Someone was always with me. Eventually, I started to get better, but it took time. And a lot of therapy. But I was able to slowly start to feel like myself again. Of course, getting my prosthetics and being able to walk again was a big part of that. A year after the accident, I was walking pretty good on the prosthetics. And by the time that I graduated from college, I was walking like normal again. So when my mom, Daddy Boulder, and my brothers came to my graduation, they weren't able to tell that my legs were fake. And I planned to keep it that way for as long as possible. After graduation, I decided to move to New York with one of my closest friends. She got a good job up there, and I wasn't ready to go back home yet. Going back home meant dealing with my family, and my dad Sean and I wasn't ready for that. I've already had to deal with a few voicemails from him because he's pissed that I didn't invite him to graduation. I didn't want to see him. And honestly, I wonder if he's even really my dad. I think that he somehow got the tests switched. Because I look more like my Daddy Boulder, just like the boys do. I spent the next year in New York with my friend, working and making a name for myself. I had always loved to design clothes, and that's what I started doing. I was even thinking of opening my own business. But I didn't want to do that anywhere except for back home. So I worked under another designer, getting experience and learning from them. But eventually, the real world came calling, and I had to go back home. I was needed back there, and as much as I didn't want to, it was time to go back. I wasn't ready to face what was waiting for me, but I knew that I had to. Wish me luck.

Tulip   Since moving to New York, my life has been busy. I spend the majority of my time working. And when I'm not at work, then I'm at home painting. I work full-time for a company that designs clothes. And on the side, I paint and sell them through a local gallery. Both jobs are passions of mine. And both of them are making me a good bit of money. I've been up here for over a year now, and as much as I love my jobs, I really miss home. New York is way busier than I'm used to. Not only is it busy, but it really is the city that never sleeps. There is always something going on up here. And even at night, it's so Dam bright that it seems like it's daytime. I've not seen the stars since I moved up here, and I miss them as well. Since moving up here, I've only spoken to my family on the phone. I talk to my mom and dad, Boulder, every day. And my brothers, I talk to them a couple of times a week. Well, I talk to Rubble and Rock a few times a week. My oldest brother, Stone, has a girlfriend now, so I don't hear from him as much. Honestly, I think that he's pissed at me for taking off on Shadow while he was gone. He gave me hll about it when he found out because Shadow is one of his friends. Stone seems to think that I didn't love Shadow and that it was easy for me to just take off on him. He doesn't know how hard that it was on me. My brother, like the rest of my family, doesn't know what all I had been through. None of them knows about the abuse that I suffered from my dad, Sean. And none of them knows about the car accident. So they don't know about my legs or me losing my baby. I got so used to keeping shift to myself growing up that it became normal for me not to let anyone in. I know that if Stone knew about what had happened to me that he would understand. As it stands, since he doesn't know, he thinks that I left Shadow because of that bltch who claimed she was carrying his kid. Stone made sure that he let me know that the baby wasn't his. That Shadow never cheated on me, and he even has the DNA test that was done to prove the kid wasn't his. Stone didn't have to tell me shift. I know that Shadow never cheated on me. He loved me as much as I loved him. So I'm lucky I talk to Stone once a week anymore. And most of the time, I don't even get that call. And when I call him, he ignores it. So, I stopped calling him and started to ignore him as well. I didn't want to be petty, but with the way that he's been, I finally had enough. And I decided that two could play that game. My mom was, of course, upset that I never came home to visit. At first, she didn't understand why I didn't. But once Shadow was discharged from the military and home, she understood. I told her that some, but not all, of the reason that I didn't come home was that it would be too hard to be around him. While true, it also wasn't the complete truth. My boss was all about family. So, for the holidays last year, she gave us time off for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I spent Thanksgiving here, not wanting to go home. And at Christmas, I flew down home for a couple of days. I got a hotel room and rented a car so that I didn't have to stay at home. I reasoned that if I wasn't at home, then no one would notice that I was missing my legs. I made sure that I packed nothing but loose-fitting pants or really long skirts to wear while I was down there. And I only wore tennis shoes. Thankfully, I managed to avoid my family finding out about my legs. And I managed to sneak in and out of Texas without seeing Shadow. And that meant that I didn't see any of the club family while I was down there. And I missed all of them, but it was necessary. But the holidays are slowly sneaking up on me again. And I know that Mom's going to want me to come visit since I haven't been down there since last year. My grandparents are all getting older, and my one grandpa's not been doing too well. So, it's a trip that I know I'm going to have to make. I've also sat and done a lot of thinking about it, and I think that I'm going to have to move back home. I don't want something to happen to any of my grandparents and me not be there. Or I guess that I should say that I don't want to miss out on spending time with them. I want to be able to visit and see them and spend whatever time that they have left with them. I've not made up my mind yet, but it's something that I've been thinking about a lot. But I know that moving down there means that at least one of my secrets will come out. And I don't know if I'm ready for that yet or not. Because I know my family. They will be pissed that I kept it from them. And then they will h***r and be overprotective of me. But it ends up that the decision gets taken out of my hands. Today I'm at work, trying to get ready for the launch of a new line that's coming out in a couple of days. The team and I have been working hа'rd-on this new set of clothes for months, and I'm excited that it's finally coming out.   Today, we are double-checking that everything is ready to go. The day of the launch, the team and I, as well as the company owner, will all be wearing clothes from the new line. And we have models who will be wearing our clothes as well.   I have a nice pantsuit from the collection that I'll be wearing. The pants have wide legs so that they work with my prosthetics. And it is all so comfortable to wear. The girls on the team picked it out in black and red. They said that it looked the best on me and made me look like a b****s. So I was all for it.   We had just finished off where we were at and split for lunch. The building where I work has a few places on the bottom of it to grab food. So I went down there with another girl to grab a sandwich and drink at a sub shop. We got our food and headed back upstairs to eat in the break room. I had just sat down to eat when my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and looked to see that it was my brother Stone calling. I hit ignore and took a bite of my sub. It wasn't a few seconds later, it rang again, and again it was Stone. So once again, I hit ignore.   The third time that it rang, I finally answered it. "What the hll do you want, Stone? I'm at work, and I don't have time to argue and fight with you," I told him. I could hear him sigh on the other end of the phone. And then he said, "I didn't call to fight with you, either, Pebbles. I called you for a reason, and then you kept hitting the fk you button on me."   "Yeah, you should know how that's done. After all, you do it to me every time that I call you. You know, I always thought that brothers were supposed to protect their sisters and be on their side always. But you've never been on my side. For three years now, you've been pissed at me for leaving HIM. And you don't let me forget it either. I had my reasons for leaving, and it was more than that bltch showing up claiming that she was pregnant with his kid. shift happened that I don't talk about and I won't talk about. Now, why the hll did you call me?" I asked him. "I don't have time to talk about that shift right now. But we will talk about it. Mom wanted me to call you. She was taking Grandma and Grandpa to Grandpa's doctor's appointment and was in an accident," he told me. At my sharp intake of breath, he hurried to reassure me. "They are all ok. But Grandma broke her arm, and Grandpa broke his leg. They are going to need some extra help for a while. So, Mom and Dad have moved them into their house. We're all going to pitch in to help take care of them. And moms taking time off from work to be there with them. She's at the hospital with them right now. They'll be in the hospital for a few days before they get out. She asked me to call and let you know. And she wanted to see if you'd be able to take some time off from work to come down and help her. I know that you hate being here for some reason, but we could really use your help right now. You know, Dad's parents are not in the best of shape either, and they help them out as well. Your family could really use you right now. And contrary to what you believe, we all, and I mean ALL, miss you like fking crazy. You gotta stop pushing us away and let us in, Pebbles. The boys and I want our sister back, and Mom and Dad want their daughter back. You've been distant since you were a kid, and I think I have an idea why. Come home for a month or two and help Mom out and be with your family again, please." "I have a launch for a new design coming out in two days. I have to be here for it because I worked hа'rd-on this with my team. I'll need to be here for at least a week for that. I'll talk to my boss, but I should be able to come after that. But I'm telling you now, I won't be going around the clubhouse. I'll get a rental for a month or so, and I'll help Mom during the day. But that's it. When Mom doesn't need me anymore, I'll be coming back home," I told him.   "This is your home, Pebbles. Texas is your home. The club is your home. Mom and Dad's house is your home. You don't need to get a rental, Mom and Dad have plenty of room for you to stay there," he told me.   "I'd rather have my own space for my own reasons. The club is not my home. And stop calling me Pebbles. That was my nickname when I was a baby. My name is Tulip. I have to go. I need to finish lunch so that I can get back to work. Tell Mom that I'll call her tonight. I have to talk to my boss before I'll know if I can come down there or not. I gotta go, I'll talk to you later," I said and then hung up without giving him a chance to say anything else. After getting off of the phone with him, I had to take a few deep breaths in and out. Hearing that my mom and grandparents had been in a car accident brought back memories of my accident. And it was trying to throw me into a panic attack. So I sat there and did my breathing exercises. And worked on calming down.   The girl that I had gone to get lunch with was sitting at the table with me and had heard a little bit of the conversation. So she knew about the accident. She knew about what happened to me a few years ago, at least part of it, so she helped me calm down.   Once I was calm, I thanked her for helping me. And then, I wrapped the rest of my sandwich up, wrote my name on it, and put it in the fridge. I had lost my appetite, and I now needed to go talk to the boss. I guess that I needed to go back home for a while. I just didn't know if it would be permanent or not. And going home means that there's a chance that my secrets get out. I am NOT looking forward to this.  

Tulip   When I left the break room, I headed upstairs to my boss's office. I had to talk to her about needing time off. I knew she'd give it to me, considering the circumstances that were going on. But I wasn't all about going home. Don't get me wrong, I want to be there to help my parents with my grandparents. But I'm not looking forward to seeing certain people. Or to have them find out my secrets. And it would be harder to hide the fact that I lost my legs than it would be to hide the fact that I lost my baby. That's why I want to get a temporary rental. So that they don't find out. When I got upstairs to Avery's door, it was open, so I peeked my head in and knocked when I saw her sitting there. She was talking to her secretary as they ate lunch. "Hey Tulip, what's up?" she asked me. "Hey, I'm sorry for disturbing you while you're on lunch. But I need to talk to you about something, it's important," I told her. "Sure, come on in and sit down. We're just finalizing the touches for the show and the new clothing launch. Do you need to talk to me alone? You can shut the door if you need to," she said. I walked into her office and shut the door. Then I went and sat on a chair by the couch since that's where they were sitting. "No, Lucy can stay. Remi and I went downstairs and got subs from the sandwich shop for lunch. When we got to the break room, I had just started to eat mine when my phone rang. It was my oldest brother, Stone, calling me. You know the deal with him and the issues that we've had. So I hit the f-you button twice before finally picking up on the third ring. Turns out that he was calling me for our mom. My mom and her parents were in a car accident. Mom was taking them to the doctor's office for my grandpa's appointment when they were hit. Mom's ok, but Grandma broke her arm, and Grandpa broke his leg. They are still in the hospital for right now and will be for a few days. But when Mom gets them home, she's going to need help with them. And she wants me to come down there and stay with her for a month or so to help. She has my dad and brothers to help, but my dad's parents are not in the best of health either. So, they are also taking care of them. I know that part of the reason that they want me down there is to try to get me to move back. But I also know that Mom could use the help. As much as I don't want to, I think that I need to go. At least for a month. I told my brother that I'd call Mom tonight because I had to talk to you. But that it would be at least a week before I could get down there. I won't leave until after the launch," I told her. "Ok, let me start by asking this: are you ok? I know that it couldn't have been easy to hear about them being in a car accident after what you went through. That had to be hard," she said. "It was very hard. I managed to get through the call with him. And when I got off the phone, I started to have a panic attack, but Remi helped me through it. I wasn't able to finish my lunch, but I'm ok now. I'll feel better after I talk to Mom. But I know that they are alive and ok and that's the main thing," I said. "Ok. You can take the month off. And if you need more time, just let me know. You can work while you're down there. We can do video calls and emails back and forth. And if you decide to stay down there, then we'll go from there. I know that you want to open your own business designing clothes. And if you decide to do that, then I will support you a hundred percent. You know how I feel about family. They always come first. Work the next four days so that you're here for the show and launch, and then for after. And then you can leave and head down there. Are you planning on flying down or driving?" she asked me. "I'm going to drive that way, I have my own vehicle. It's made so that I can use the hand or foot controls for the brake and gas. So if I have to take my prosthetics off, I can still drive it. I couldn't get a rental like that. And I don't want to depend on my family to get me around. The drive down there is only around twenty-seven hours. I'll stop about halfway to sleep and rest. And I'll also be stopping often to take breaks and rest. I'm also thinking about getting a rental to stay in while I'm down there. I'd rather not stay with my family. If I do, then they'll find out about my legs, and I'm not ready for that. I know that they'll find out eventually, but with everything going on, that doesn't need to be now. And I'll have to take my travel shower chair and my extra prosthetics. I'll only be in the rental at night. And I'll definitely keep working while I'm down there. I'll log on and do as much as I can every day. And I'd love to have my own company. But I'm still not all about moving back down there permanently. I plan to stay away from the club. But I know that I'll end up running into my ex. And I'm not all about that," I told her. "Yeah, I don't blame you for that. But the two of you will end up having to sit down and have a conversation sooner or later. He needs to know what happened and why you really left. I know that you said he thinks that you left because of that woman claiming to be pregnant with his kid. But he needs to know what the truth is. I have a feeling that when you go down there, things will work out for you. And the only reason that you'll be back up here is so that you can pack your stuff up. If you need anything while you're gone, just call me. No matter what happens, I'll always be here for you, we all will. We'll talk again before you leave. But know that we are here if you need us. And I hope that your grandparents have a speedy recovery," she said.   "Thank you so much. I'm going to leave you to the rest of your lunch. I have a few things to double-check before the show and launch. I'll call my mom when I get home and let her know that I'll be home in a week to help her. Thank you so much, Avery," I said.   I left her office and headed back to mine. I went over the last-minute stuff that needed to be done before the show. And then I packed up what stuff that I would need while I was gone. I won't be in the office tomorrow. We had to go to the building where the show would be and make sure that everything was ready there. So, I wouldn't be back here tomorrow. And I wasn't sure about the two days after the show. Before I left for the night, I went to the break room to grab my lunch from today. Then, I went back to my office to grab my stuff. Once I had everything, I clocked out and headed to my car. On my way home, I stopped and picked up dinner for me and Riley. I texted her earlier and told her what was going on, so she promised to be home early.   Riley is from South Carolina, and she started going to college down there. She's older than I am and has been in college forever. She wanted to be a doctor, and now she's doing her residency at a hospital here in New York. She'd had to pull a double last night, so she'll be home tonight.   I had just gotten home and got all of my stuff and our food inside when she got here. I went and changed into a pair of shorts and then fixed our plates. We sat down on the couch, and after I took my prosthetics off, I told her about my day as we ate.   She, more than anyone, knew how much I didn't want to go home. She knew the reasons why, and if she were able, I know that she'd go with me. But I told her that I'd be ok going alone. And that I'd stay in t***h every day so that she doesn't worry about me.   After we ate, she was heading to her room to take a shower and get to bed. She was exhausted from the double that she pulled. I put my prosthetics back on and then headed to my room to start packing. I also had to call my mom.   Before I called Mom, I grabbed a suitcase and put it on my bed. And then I started to grab clothes that I would be taking with me and tossing them on the bed. While I was on the phone with Mom, I'd get them folded and put in my suitcase. That way, I could sit down and do it and take my prosthetics off. After wearing them all day, I needed a break from them. Once I had everything ready, I sat down and took my legs off, and then called Mom. When she answered, I could tell that she was at the hospital from the background noise. "Hey, Mom, are you busy?" I asked her.   "Hey, baby girl. No, I'm not busy. I'm just leaving the cafeteria, I was getting dinner. Your dad had to go check on his parents, so I'm here alone. One of your brothers is supposed to come stay the night with your grandparents so that I can go home and get some sleep. I'm exhausted. Did your brother call you? He told me he would," she said on a yawn.   "Yeah, Mom Stone called me. I hit ignore the first two times that he called, but answered on the third. He told me about you, um, aacciiident," I said on a stutter. "He said that you guys were fine, but that you were going to need help for a month or so. He asked me to come down there to help you. I talked to my boss, and she agreed to give me a month off work. Well, I'll still be working, but it'll be remotely. I'll be doing video calls and stuff while I'm down there."   "Ok. It means a lot that you're coming to help me. We're moving your grandparents into our house. All of them so that we can take care of them. But with having all four of them here and my parents having to use casts, extra help will be nice. When will you be down here, and do I need to pick you up from the airport or have one of the boys do it?" she asked me. "We have a show and a new clothing launch in two days. I have to be here for that and the two days after that. Once that's all done, I'll be on my way down. No one will have to pick me up, I'm not flying down. I'm going to drive my car down, I need to have it. With breaks and stopping to sleep, it'll take me almost two days to get down there. I've already started to pack. If the grandparents are all moving in with you, would they mind if I stay in one of their houses while I'm down there? Then I won't have to find a rental house," I told her.   "You know that you can stay here with us. You don't need to get a rental," Mom told me. "I know, but I'd rather have my own space. It has nothing to do with you guys. I've got stuff that I'm not ready to talk to you about. And honestly, you don't need it on top of everything else right now. And I'll be working in the evening, so I'll need quiet," I told her while trying not to hurt her.   "Ok, baby, I understand. Both of their houses are empty right now. We're still in the process of going through their stuff as we move them in. We just started to move your dad's parents in this past month, and then this happened. And we had been talking to my parents about them moving in with us. And they had finally agreed. We've been talking about what to do with their houses. Stone has his own, and so does Rubble. Rock still lives here with us when he's not in his room at the clubhouse. So we were thinking about giving the houses to the two of you. The older boys agree with it. And you've always loved my parents' big farmhouse. And Rock loves your dad's parents' place. So it would work out. Like I said, we still need to go through everything in the house, but you can stay there while you're here. The master bedroom on the second floor is a guest room now. We moved Mom and Dad downstairs to that bedroom a few years ago," Mom told me.   "That works for me, Mom. I don't have to look for a rental now, so that's one less thing for me to do," I told her. I talked to her for a little bit longer and even talked to my grandparents when she got back to their room. Thankfully, they put them in the same room, so it made it easier on Mom.   When I got off the phone, I took a shower and got ready for bed. After I was in bed, I put my nubbin socks that a friend made me on. They made it look like I had chicken legs. They came up over my nubs and then had the chicken legs and feet crocheted on the bottom of them. They were cute. Then I lay down. The next few days were going to be busy and exhausting.  

Tulip   The two days flew by in a flurry of getting everything ready for the show. We did all of the last-minute touches to make sure that we were ready. We even had everything in the back where our models would be ready. Now it was almost showtime, and I was nervous as hll. I was in my black and red pantsuit, and the girls all said that I looked awesome. Our team that we have that does our models' hair and makeup fixed mine for me. They did the same for the others that are on my team, as well as Avery, Remi, and Lucy. We would all be walking the runway at the end of the show. This is the first time that Avery has decided to do something like this. And I was both nervous and excited. I practiced last night and this morning walking down the runway so that I don't mess up. The last thing that I wanted to do was to fall on my face in front of a big crowd of people. When the show started, we stood backstage making sure that the models looked perfect, and that nothing was out of place. We went through all of the girls taking their turns doing the walk. And at the end of the show, it was our turn to go out. My team went first, and then it was Lucy, Remi, Avery, and then me. I didn't think that I should be walking last. I thought that it should be Avery since it was her company. But she said that the credit needed to go to the head of the team that put this line together. And since I did most of the work on it and I worked hа'rd-on it, I should be the one walking last. I stood and waited for the girls to take their turns, and when Avery was on her way back down the runway, I headed out. I hit all of the markers like I was supposed to and made my way back down and to the back. After I got to the back, we all went out and made one final walk, and then Avery got up to talk. She made her speech about the new line and how excited she was to see what her teams come up with next. When the show was over, we made our rounds, talking to everyone that we needed to talk to. And then finally it was time to clean up and go home. By the time that I got home, I was exhausted, and I was ready to get my prosthetics off. After a shower, I fell into bed and slept soundly until my alarm went off at five in the morning. I worked the next two days in the office, dealing with orders and contacting the warehouse that makes the clothes. We had already sold out of a few things, and the clothes were only online right now. They wouldn't be in stores for another month or so. Avery was so happy about how well this line was selling. And by how fast that it was all selling. This had been one of the best lines to come from her company so far. And as she said at the show, she can't wait to see what else we come up with. At the end of the next two days, I said goodbye to everyone at work and then headed out. I had double-checked that I had everything that I would need over the next month before I left. I would be taking my laptop with me. And I had a Bluetooth thermal printer that I was taking as well. That way, if I had to print something off, then I'd be able to. I stopped on the way home to grab a burger and fries so that I didn't have to cook. Riley was at work, and I had to finish packing so that I could leave in the morning. When I got home, I grabbed all of my stuff and then headed into the apartment. After I put everything down, I headed to my room to change into shorts. As I ate my food, I finished packing up everything that I would need for the next month. I ended up with three suitcases of clothes. Plus, I had a special case that had my other prosthetics in it. I had a pair that was for when I went running, a pair that let me wear high heels, and a pair of stubs. I didn't know if I'd need any of them, but I wanted them just in case I needed them. I also had spare parts and stuff in the case. When I was packing, I also packed up a bookbag and a laptop bag that had two laptops, my tablet, chargers, work papers, my printer, and anything else that I would need work-wise. I also packed up sketch pads, colored pencils, regular pencils, erasers, and markers. And I put my l*p desk with that stuff. When I was done packing, I went through the apartment making sure that I had everything. I double-checked that I had all of my toiletries and clothes. I then set most of my bags by the door so that I could take them all down to the car in a little bit. I already had my son's urn sitting by my bed so that I could take him with me. I couldn't and wouldn't leave him behind. And then I grabbed my coolers to take to the kitchen. I went ahead and put the drinks that I got yesterday in one cooler. So, in the morning, all I had to add would be ice. I put pop, water, peach tea, juice, and cans of iced coffee in the cooler. And then set the other cooler on top of it. In the morning, I'd have to add ice to both of them. And then put the food that I made for the trip in the other one. Yesterday, I got home kind of early. So, I stopped by the grocery store before coming home. I picked up the stuff to make cheese stake puffs, meatballs, and salami treats. I also got some fruits and veggies, as well as little bags of chips, crackers, cookies, lunch cakes, bread, and lunchmeat. Stopping for food on road trips can get expensive as hll, and I'd rather have my own food anyway. So I always pack coolers. It also means fewer stops for me to make. I know that I'll have to stop every few hours to stretch my legs and go to the bathroom. But a quick stop at truck stops will work for that.   When I was done with everything that I could pack for the night, I took what I could down to my car and then locked it up. My laptop bag, the coolers, my pillow and blanket, and my son would all go to the car in the morning.   When I was finally done for the night, I went and took a shower and then got into bed. After my prosthetics were off, I flipped the TV on low and found something to put on. And then I picked up my phone to call Mom. I wanted to check in.   The phone rang a few times, and when I was about to hang up, someone answered it. "Hey, my little Pebbles. How are you doing?" my daddy asked me. "Hey, Daddy, I'm good. How are you doing?" I asked him.   "I'm doing ok. Been busy taking care of the parents. Stone and his old lady are staying with my parents tonight. So I came to the hospital to sit with your mom and her parents. She just went to the bathroom. I saw it was you calling and figured that I'd pick up the phone. Are you still heading out here?" he asked me.   "Yes, sir. I'm officially done with office work. For the next month, it will all be over the computer. We got the show done two days ago, and it was a huge success. When I got home tonight, I got everything packed up and most of it in my car. I still have a few things to load up in the morning, like my coolers, laptops, and stuff. But for the most part, I'm ready," I told him.   "What time will you be heading out? I should have had one of the boys fly up and ride back with you so that you're not driving alone. I can probably get one of them on a flight to meet you at a nearby town. Then you won't be alone," he told me.   "It's ok, daddy. I'll be fine making the trip by myself. Heck, I drove from South Carolina up to here alone. I'll call and check in with you every so often so that you know I'm ok. I'm going to get up around four in the morning and try to get out of here by five. I'll call you around six or seven when I'm on the road. How are the mom and the grandparents doing?" I asked him. "They're all doing good. As long as everything stays the same, your grandparents should get to come home in the next day or so. Just like us, they can't wait to see you. My parents can't wait either. Your mom and I went and moved some of her parents' clothes and stuff over to our house. And we got the house cleaned up and ready for you. I want you to stop here when you make it to town. I'll give you the keys to the house then. And when you're ready to go over for the night, I'll follow you and help you get all of your stuff in. While you're in town, you and I need to sit down and talk. I know something happened to you that you won't talk to us about. You went from shutting down on us as a kid to opening up when you got with Shadow, to shutting us all out. I want my daughter back. We all love and miss you, Pebbles," he told me.   "There's a lot that I've kept from you guys over the years. And I'm not yet ready to talk about it. But when I am, you'll be the first one to know. I'm going to go. I need to get some sleep before I take off in the morning. I'll call you once I'm on the road so that you know I'm on my way. I love you, Daddy. Tell Mom and all of the grandparents that I love them, too." I told him.   He let out a sigh and then said, "Ok, baby, I'll tell them. And I love you too. Be careful tomorrow, and I'll talk to you in the morning." With that, I got off the phone with him and put my phone on the charging pad. Then I lay down to get some sleep. The next two days were going to be long.